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Thursday, May 19, 2016

When I Die..

In the unlikely event that you hear of my demise, you can best honor my memory by raising a glass and saying,

I never liked that guy.

Say it with irony, say it with deadly seriousness, but do it. This outpouring of love shit makes my skin crawl. We are all of us flawed, we have all done bad things, stupid things, venal things, mean things. That too is part of us. To sweep all that away seems to me offensive, a lie.

Orson Scott Card, who is a horrible human being who generally writes pretty bad books, came up with one Really Good Idea. His concept is of the Speaker for the Dead, a person who comes when you die, and finds out the truth of your life through research, not unlike a detective. And then at the memorial, this person speaks the truth. The good, the bad, the secrets, the lies, the beauty, the kindness. All of it.

This strikes me as far more decent a way to honor the dead than some sugary blathered half-truths.

"This was Andrew, this is his story. Remember him."

Today, though, I will hew to social convention and hold my tongue.

12 comments:

  1. why not just shut the fuck up? (you know, if you don't have anything nice to say and all that)

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  2. Yes I agree with you. I tell my family when I die not to sit around saying what a nice daddy he was but that he was a bad tempered git

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  3. "Today, though, I will hew to social convention and hold my tongue."

    Ah, but you didn't.

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  4. Oh, cmon, he wasn't that bad, was he?

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  5. "Today, though, I will hew to social convention and hold my tongue.", you say. I wish you'd held it a bit more than you did. If this piece is about who I think it's about then this blog post of yours was badly done. Shameful. You take about "sugary blathered half-truths", but they're not meant for the dead, they've gone now. They're meant for the people left behind.

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  6. I frequently use current events as a starting point for commenting on more general things.

    If you think I am slamming anyone except Orson Scott Card here, well, you're just wrong.

    Of course, I knew some people would read it as a personal attack on a dead guy, but I can't help you guys.

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  7. "I frequently use current events as a starting point for commenting on more general things".
    Would it have killed you to have made that more clear, or are we supposed to just be so much in touch with your psyche that it's obvious?
    "Of course, I knew some people would read it as a personal attack on a dead guy, but I can't help you guys"
    That 'of course' is a bit of a giveaway. Weasel words. Given the timing of the post, did you ever imagine that anyone would read it any other way?

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    Replies
    1. If you read my blog with any sort or regularity, or checked out some of the previous 700 odd posts, you wouldn't need to read my mind, you'd see a pattern.

      Something happens. I observe that. It causes me to have some thoughts.

      I write those thoughts down here.

      It's called blogging. That's kind of how it works.

      As for the rest of your remarks, well, you're just being offensive. I know how a few people will likely misread things, so what? Should I stop writing because the careless reader won't get it?

      I get that you're stung. I cannot help you. Perhaps you should go elsewhere.

      Delete
  8. Just out of interest, I've only been following your blog for a couple of months. I came across a post of yours somewhere, went to the blog, read some more, and thought 'Hey, this guy tells it like it is', so I did what I often do: I read your entire blog, start to finish. Took me some time.
    You say 'Perhaps you should go elsewhere', and I think I'll do that.

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  9. heh. when someone says "today" I shall hold my tongue, to me that means that there's a good chance that "at some later date" Da Tru Poop will fly out for our collective astonishment and possible edification. aka You ain't seen nuthin yet. duh.

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